Rant of the Week

January 7, 2016

If this blog has seemed empty and abandoned for the past 3 weeks, it’s because of my kids’ winter break from school, which will now be classified in the Guinness Book of Records as The Longest. Winter. Break. Ever.

I spent the time corralling my kids, trying to come up with indoor activities and keeping my house (mostly) in one piece.  All of this work left scant time for blogging.  Whatever creative corners of my mind were available at the end of the day were reserved for coming up with piercing and spiteful epithets to shout at my television while watching Making a Murderer on Netflix.  You know, priorities.

 

Dec 1, 2015:

This is, of course, the oldest rant in the book but…

I don’t understand why parents have to die in Disney movies.  We took the kids to see The Good Dinosaur over the weekend and (SPOILER ALERT) my little ones were having a jolly good time until little Arlo’s father got swept away in a huge class 5 rapid.

I kind of understand why the parents had to die in Frozen and in Lion King. I have no idea why the dad had to die in this movie.  It wasn’t even necessary to advance the plot.  If Disney believes that parental death is a prerequisite to coming of age, I respectfully disagree.  I, for example, came of age just fine and my parents are still alive.  This is true for practically everyone I know.  Somehow we manage it.

I would also like to point out that I don’t see any movie where a parent loses a child because I can’t really handle the subject material.  Seems kind of unfair to subject my kids to movies where kids lose their parents .  I get that these things do happen in real life and perhaps watching it on the big screen can be a way to induce that conversation.  But for us, all it does is scare the living hell out of them and for no particular reason.  Seriously, my children were less scared watching Star Wars when the Death Star (40-year old SPOILER ALERT) blew up planet Alderan.  Once that movie was over, they got on with their day.  Conversely, when The Good Dinosaur was over, I had to repeatedly comfort them that YES I was probably going to die one day, NO it wouldn’t be for a long time (hopefully) and NO I did not plan to avoid rivers for the foreseeable future.

Overall, I thought the animation was spectacular.  Everything else about the movie, I would award a rating of: Meh (with a side rating of: Pixar?  Is it really you?)

 

Nov 17, 2015:

Why do my children like to gnaw on things they find on the floor?  Not the floor of my house, but the floor of the car dealership or grocery store?  This morning I took my 4y old to the supermarket, and he found two twist ties on the floor of the produce section and immediately put them into his mouth.  How have we evolved as a species given this behavior?

And for that matter, what is so attractive about that trash laying there in the parking lot that my kids need to pick it up and play with it?

 

Nov 4, 2015:

i *hate* when cashiers comment on my purchases. nothing makes you feel more like a tool than hearing ‘WOW, those are EXPENSIVE batteries!’ while sliding your ener.gizer li.thium 4pack across the scanner. so, cashier lady, not that you give a crap but i MEANT to pick these up far cheaper at ta.rget at least 3 different times over the past few weeks, but i keep forgetting, so it’s down to get them here, now, or don’t get them at all. so i made the painful decision to buy the overpriced batteries at your expensive little tienda here, can we let it go at that? i don’t mention that however much you’ve spent on toothpaste, it wasn’t enough.